Faces of Howie’s House Stories
“My experience at Gift of Life Howie’s House is inexpressible.
I spent 42 nights there while my husband was in the hospital. The Gift of Life Howie’s House is a home. When visiting my husband daily at the hospital, I would find myself telling him what time I would be going “home” that day.
When I did arrive home, I was always greeted by the smiling faces of the dedicated staff and the aromas of a home cooked meal. The rides to and from the House were another gift. The volunteers, many of them transplant recipients, were a source of support because they knew exactly what I was experiencing. Of course, there was also a tremendous connection that developed among the guests.
Although everyone had a different story, and we were all on different steps of the journey, it was such a comfort to share my day with people who were walking the same walk as I was.”
–Judy, past family House Guest
“We are indescribably grateful for the Howie’s House and how positively it has affected the outcome of our situation. Without the Howie’s House, it would have been very difficult for Ash to be with me every single day, both financially and logistically. Without her unyielding emotional support and care, I wouldn’t be as well off as I am today. Guaranteed. And without the support and the positive environment of the Howie’s House, Ash wouldn’t have been as available and emotionally present for me. The Howie’s House truly is a ‘home away from home’!” – Bobby Adams
On March 20, 2015, Bobby and Ashley Adams of Bordentown, NJ were newly married and Bobby had just received his precious gift of life, a double lung transplant. Yet there were many events that led to these miraculous events.
Bobby Adams grew up with the privilege of enjoying a healthy, care-free lifestyle. He had always enjoyed doing things outdoors, such as camping, hiking, snowboarding, and mountain biking. In January of 2015, that came to an abrupt and unexpected halt. Bobby started feeling very sick and, with symptoms only worsening, Ashley took him to the local emergency room. Neither of them had any idea that Bobby would be hospitalized for the next three and a half months – the majority of which were in critical condition.
When Bobby was first admitted to the hospital, he was quickly intubated and placed on a ventilator for life support. His lungs were failing, fast. The cause of his lung failure was unexpected.
After being diagnosed with Acute Interstitial Pneumonia and ARDS, Bobby was placed on ECMO, an additional type of life support, which oxygenates the blood. He was then placed into a drug-induced coma while doctors worked around the clock to try to save his life. While in this coma, doctors broke the news to Ashley that Bobby’s only chance at survival would be to receive a double lung transplant.
Ashley felt like she was living a nightmare. Nothing felt real. Within a few days of being informed about the need for Bobby to receive a transplant, a social worker at the hospital told her about Gift of Life Howie’s House. She didn’t know much about the Howie’s House at the time, but she knew she was grateful to not have to pay thousands of dollars for a hotel room in the city with her mom, or sleep on a friend’s couch anymore. The Howie’s House was a very affordable alternative. What she quickly learned, however, is that besides not having to worry about the expense of lodging, the Howie’s House also provided her with hot meals, cooked by people who really wanted to help, rides to and from the hospital, and the opportunity to meet some amazing people who understood the frightening reality of what Ashley was dealing with; including House guests, volunteers, and staff.
The 2015 Gift of Life Howie’s House President’s Reception took place the same day that Bobby was listed for a lung transplant. At that time, Ashley and her mom were in attendance at the reception as Howie’s House guests. For this year’s President’s Reception – honoring the Founders’ Circle and 2015 Family Circle members – Ashley and Bobby were invited back to the house – not only to share their incredible story with event attendees, but also to celebrate their one year wedding anniversary and Bobby’s first ‘Transplant-a-versary’. They were honored to be there with some of the most generous supporters of the Howie’s House and to share the miraculous conclusion of their incredible transplant journey.
Just two days after being listed for a transplant, Ashley and Bobby decided to get married right then and there, bedside in the hospital ICU. Moments before their wedding ceremony, doctors came in to the room to give them the incredible news: they had a prospective donor for Bobby! After everything that had happened in the months leading up to this point, for two such miraculous things to happen in one day seemed to Ashley a sign that everything would be okay after all.
Ashley and Bobby couldn’t have been happier on that particular day in March of 2015. Within a few days, Bobby had a new bride, new lungs, a new life. Bobby is now back to work, grateful for a little more normalcy and enjoying many of the things he still loves to do. All the while, the newlyweds are incredibly grateful for Bobby’s donor and his family for making the selfless decision to choose organ donation, which allowed for Bobby’s life-saving transplant. And the couple is also indescribably grateful for the Howie’s House and how it positively affected the outcome of their situation – and which is only made possible by all of its wonderful supporters, especially its generous Founders’ and Family Circle members.
A New Definition of “High School Sweetheart”
Their love story started in high school art history class and continued 30 years later when MaryAnn discovered Joe needed a lung transplant to survive.
After dating on and off in high school, Joe Finlay was called away for his work in the United States Army. Life intervened and sent MaryAnn and Joe in different directions. Besides the occasional phone call, they lead very separate lives with their individual work and family.
Fast forward 30 years, MaryAnn, living in New Jersey, had a dream where she saw Joe with an oxygen hose in his nose. She decided to call Joe, who was living in Virginia at the time, only to find that Joe really was sick. He had been diagnosed with Pulmonary Fibrosis, an incurable disease.
“I told Mary that she was not going to have much of a future with me—the doctors told me I only had two years to live,” said Joe.
After talking daily, they decided together, “No more missed chances, and no more regrets. Life is too short. Nobody knows what is going to happen today or even tomorrow.”
They were married that same year. “We said no more wasting time. We are soul mates.”
After the couple married, Joe‘s condition worsened and in 2013 he was diagnosed with a bacterial pneumonia. He also had developed bladder cancer—meaning he had to wait an additional two years before being placed on the waiting list for a transplant. And as those two years progressed, the worse his condition became.
The couple eventually traveled to Philadelphia for preliminary transplant testing. They were thankful to be able to stay at Gift of Life Howie’s House during those long two weeks of testing –and MaryAnn especially appreciated that she could be by her husband’s side to care for all his needs. “He was very bad at that point where every five minutes I was running to him with an emergency breathing bag.” MaryAnn explains.
Acting as the permanent caregiver to her husband, MaryAnn says, “It is important to know that the pain and suffering that the caregiver goes through is just as bad as the pain and suffering that the patient goes through. Even though we are not going through the physical aspect, it’s the emotional aspect—that when I see this man who was so strong and could do everything, is now deteriorated to where he cannot even pull the covers over his shoulders. I would just cry myself to sleep.”
After Joe and MaryAnn returned home from Philadelphia for that initial testing, Joe’s conditioned declined drastically. MaryAnn rushed Joe to their local hospital and quickly learned that, other than hospice, there was nothing that they could do. So MaryAnn drove Joe back to the hospital in Philadelphia, where he was admitted immediately. He would not leave the hospital until he had his transplant.
“I look forward to that time when I can come back here for dinner and sit with my new friends that I have made. I don’t know how I would have made it through these past three months without this place…” – MaryAnn Finlay
Joe received his gift of life, a lung transplant, just two weeks later on March 4th 2016. MaryAnn was able to be by his side at the hospital every single day, thanks to her “home away from home” at the Howie’s House.
“It is a hard journey for all transplant patients—it’s painful and it’s hard. And if I can stress enough—they must have a support system. I was there [at the hospital] every single day. My focus was on Joe and getting him through this hard time,” explains MaryAnn.
Although Joe’s memory is a bit cloudy from his post-transplant complications, he remembers MaryAnn and her smiling face every day while he was in the hospital. Joe says “She came every day. I told her, keep bringing that beautiful smile and everything will be alright. And she did.” He remained at the hospital for two months following his transplant.
During those long months while Joe was hospitalized, MaryAnn found comfort at Gift of Life Howie’s House. “I don’t know how I would have made it through without that place. I would take the shuttle every morning, be there from 8 o’clock to 4 o’clock at night, come back and eat my dinner.”
MaryAnn recounts how when she first arrived she would sit alone in the dining room decompressing from a long day at the hospital. However, as the weeks turned to months, she started making friends with all her fellow guests. “We would all join together and tell each other stories of what was happening with our family members. Sometimes we would cry together. I met wonderful friends here! I started to look forward to that time when I could come here at dinner and sit with my new friends that I have made here. I wouldn’t want to stay anywhere else.”
In May of 2016, MaryAnn and Joe Finlay were finally able to return home to New Jersey. They say this experience has made them even stronger – as individuals, and as a couple.
Are you – or someone you know – in need of resources specific to caregivers of transplant patients, like MaryAnn? Visit our Caregiver Lifeline page for more information to help guide you and your loved ones through the transplant journey. Or check out our new Transplant Caregiver Support Group on Facebook by clicking here
It was 33 years ago when Cindi and Russell Westendorf met at the Hospital of the University of Pennsylvania (HUP), purely by coincidence. Now, happily married with 3 grown children, they found themselves back at the same hospital, but this time for Russell to receive a life-saving lung transplant.
Prior to Russell and Cindi meeting, Cindi was a graduate student in Philadelphia studying counseling and creative arts therapy. Russell had gotten into a very serious motorcycle accident and was transferred to HUP, a hospital close by where Cindi was studying, to receive bone grafts. He stayed there for many months during his recovery. Cindi’s family, who knew Russell’s family, recommended she stop by his hospital room for a visit as she was already in the area – and they have been together ever since.
“I think one of my biggest reliefs was finding the Gift of Life Howie’s House, to be honest with you. That is when my heart felt better because I knew my wife was going to be okay.” — Russell Westendorf
After they got married, they settled in Colts Neck, NJ and had three sons. Russell worked as a stone and tile setter. A union man at heart, Russell loved his job, especially the fact that his hours allowed him to be home with his kids and his wife. However, it was very tough on his physical health and Russell developed a serious lung disease. Surrounded constantly by dust, insulation, and other hazardous materials, “it physically beat me up. Lung disease was part of what I did. It took some getting used to, but slowly my health got worse until suddenly I’m using 17 percent of my lung capacity, and started to have to use the oxygen.”
She is My Rock
Because of his illness, Russell was listed for a lung transplant in 2014. All too familiar with caregiving and support, Cindi, an art and trauma therapist, has been right by his side throughout his entire transplant journey. Russell could not be more grateful for their partnership, “She is my rock and probably the most giving person I’ve ever met in my life.”
After two years on the transplant list, the couple was getting into bed one night about a week before Christmas when they received the call that donor lungs were available. They rushed to Philadelphia, over 70 miles from their home at 2:30 in the morning and, upon arrival, Russell went right into surgery. He awoke on December 19th with the gift of life – a new pair of working lungs – thanks to someone’s selfless decision to say yes to donation.
After the transplant surgery, Cindi was able to stay at Gift of Life Howie’s House while her husband was in recovery. Russell said, “I think one of my biggest reliefs was finding the Howie’s House, to be honest with you. That is when my heartfelt better because I knew my wife was going to be okay.”
On Christmas morning, a few days after the surgery, the doctors moved Russell back into the ICU due to a complication. Cindi, who was staying at the House, got a call from the hospital explaining the situation. “I got up, so startled. I didn’t even think about it being Christmas but I woke up, got dressed, got myself together and opened the door and there were all these gifts [from the staff]. It was really special; it’s just a little thing like that that made me feel like we were in the right place at the right time.”
Recovery at Gift of Life Howie’s House
Russell recovered from the complication and was released from the hospital a few weeks later. He was then transferred to the Gift of Life Howie’s House to continue his recovery. After hearing so many wonderful things about the House from his wife, he had high expectations upon arriving: “When I got here, I was totally blown away. Everybody here is just wonderful, very supportive. The thoughtfulness that went into planning this place and the relief of having meals is unbelievable. And I love the fact that you can sit around and share experiences with other transplant patients.”
Though the couple remarked on many wonderful aspects of the House, Russell’s favorite, in particular, was the Home Cook Heroes program. This volunteer-based program invites people from all over the community to come to the House to prepare a home-cooked meal for Gift of Life Howie’s House guests. Russell especially enjoyed the variety of nutritious meals, “It’s all been fabulous—the whole concept that people do this for us is so nice. It has really helped me open up my pallet and try different things that I normally wouldn’t,” said Russell. “I wouldn’t even eat salad at home and now I am trying new things, like guacamole. It’s given me a new lease on life – healthy eating is important for my recovery.”
Russell and Cindi are thrilled to have a place where their sons can come for visits, a place where they can meet new families and volunteers and continue trying new foods. But above all, they are relieved to have a place where they can relax and work on getting Russell’s physical health back to normal. Russell says, now more than ever, they will both continue to live by their personal motto: “Be Positive—that’s my blood type.”
To honor Veterans today, we want to share Vernie’s story, a Veteran from the US Army who is a guest here at the Gift of Life Howie’s House!
“We miss serving in the military because it was really special to be able to help people.” – Vernie and Vernon
Now the Gift of Life Howie’s House’s turn to help, they have made this veteran’s transplant journey easier! Vernie Flores (left) and his family is originally from the Philippines and currently works as a civilian in the United States Army. He and his wife, Carla, traveled to Philadelphia from their home in Central NJ in the hopes of receiving a liver transplant. The Gift of Life Howie’s House is their “home away from home” while he is undergoing a liver transplant evaluation.
Vernie’s brother, Vernon (right), flew in from the Philippines where he now resides to be a support and caregiver for his brother during the week of transplant evaluation.
Both Vernie and Vernon are retired from the US Armed Forces. Vernie spent eight years with the army, four of which he spent stationed in Korea. In fact, he just returned to the US from his service in Korea just two years ago. Vernon is retired from the US Navy after 20 years of service. He served three tours in Iraq and one tour in Afghanistan. Both brothers miss serving in the military because it was really special for them to be able to help people.
Vernie hopes that after he receives a life-saving transplant he will be able to continue working with the Army.
Between the entire family they have more than 75 years in the US Armed Forces. Their grandfather served in WWII and their father served in the Vietnam War. Their sister and uncle were also in the Armed Forces and Vernie’s son just joined the US Marines in June of 2015.
Veterans Day is a national public holiday that is always celebrated on November 11th . Declared a holiday by President Woodrow Wilson in 1919, the holiday celebrates all members of the US Armed Services. Many Americans celebrate today by attending ceremonies or celebrations that honor their troops. In fact, the city of Philadelphia just hosted its first official Veterans Day Parade this year. Check out the video here!
“It is an understatement when we say the Gift of Life Howie’s House is a life saver; a thank you will never express our gratitude.” – Felicia Padilla, recent House guest
Felicia and Jose Padilla are a young, active couple from Rockland County, New York who have been married for two years. Felicia says that, for as long as she’d known Jose, she had not known a life without dialysis. “When Jose and I first met, his kidney had just failed and he was back on dialysis. Even on our honeymoon, I spent hours apart from him as he had to go to dialysis treatments during our trip.”
As just a young child, Jose was diagnosed with Alport Syndrome, a rare genetic kidney disease that resulted in full renal failure by the age of just 16. At that time, Jose was put on dialysis and officially listed for a transplant in New York. “Luckily, Jose was blessed with a transplant from his mother, Ines, who was a perfect match,” explains Felicia, “His first transplant lasted almost 11 years before it stopped functioning.” At the age of 27, when his kidney began to fail yet again, Jose and Felicia were once again back on the transplant journey. But without a family member to serve as a living donor, and because of Jose’s high percentage of antibodies, the wait time for a kidney in New York would have been approximately 8 to 11 years. At this point, Felicia and Jose began to explore other options.
“In order to give my husband a better chance at finding a match, we began the arduous testing process to be listed at transplant centers in other states,” describes Felicia, “After five calls for potential donors that did not work out, we received a sixth call for a kidney on the 28th of June and rushed to Philadelphia in the middle of the night. Thankfully, Jose had finally found a match.”
A match was found, but Philadelphia was still three hours away, and the Padillas did not want to have to commute six hours back and forth to the hospital for his treatment and follow-up care. That’s when Jose’s transplant coordinator suggested they consider Gift of Life Howie’s House, where they stayed for four weeks over the summer while Jose recovered from his long-awaited and life-saving kidney transplant. “I cannot imagine what recovery would have been like without this safe haven,” says Felicia of the Gift of Life Howie’s House. “We could have never afforded a hotel each night. The House was an affordable place where we could comfortably stay and it was only about 20 minutes from Jose’s hospital, with free transportation provided through the Gift of Life Howie’s House shuttle service.”
The Padillas found comfort at the House and also greatly enjoyed the Home Cook Hero meals provided by volunteers each day. As Felicia states, these home-cooked meals were “always delicious and took away so much of the stress of recovery after being in the hospital all day.” Felicia and Jose also took full advantage of the free laundry services and gym available to them, allowing them to feel, in Felicia’s words, “right at home.” And of course, the comfort of connecting with other individuals on the transplant journey – offering advice and sharing experiences – helped them immensely.
“Another one of our favorite things about Gift of Life Howie’s House,” Felicia says, “were the events they planned for the families. There was a Sunday where any guest staying at the House could receive a free haircut from a volunteer stylist in the area, a night where we tie-dyed shirts, and even a carnival night. It was amazing to see all the wonderful things Gift of Life Howie’s House provides for their guests.”
Felicia sums up her experience saying, “Gift of Life Howie’s House was a beautiful and comfortable place to rest our head at night—it was beyond our expectations. It offered us peace of mind and a place where we could ‘take it easy’ and focus solely on recovery. We were able to forget about the other stresses of life and simply live in the moment. We felt extremely safe there.”
Felicia and Jose say they now look forward to their second chance at a “normal” life together: they love traveling as much as possible, being outdoors and active and spending time with their dog, Delia. Now, thanks to Jose’s transplant and successful recovery at the Gift of Life Howie’s House, this is all possible. As Felicia notes, “it is an understatement when we say the House is a life saver; a thank you will never express our gratitude.”
“The Gift of Life Howie’s House provides a service that no one else can. It isn’t just a place to stay. It’s a family.” –Denise, liver transplant recipient and current House guest.
“It’s weird how things fell into place” Denise recalls. It was twice that Denise received the call of a possible liver, and both times just as she was about to leave her local hospital for the day. The second call came on New Year’s Eve. Ken had been playing a show with his band Double Talk when his daughter burst in mid-set with the announcement. Ken sat his guitar down and left with a standing ovation to make his way to Philadelphia. It was not only a new year, but a new chance at life.
For Ken, the Gift of Life Howie’s House shows just how large the transplant community is, and how difficult the transplant journey can be. ‘”The average person does not understand just how deep the transplant journey is.” He continues, “They should come and listen to the stories here.” And Denise and Ken say they are happy that they found a place where they could go where everyone just gets it. “We’ve seen the good and the bad. Sat and chatted with people. Cried with people. Prayed with people.”
Denise and Ken feel that the House provides a service that no one else can—for the patient, the caregiver, and the whole family. The House gives them an opportunity to meet people in similar situations who understand them and what they were going through. The Caregiver Lifeline Program has been especially helpful for Ken, where he gets to participate in support groups led by Gift of Life Howie’s House’s licensed social worker. Ken finds these groups very comforting during the stressful transplant journey. Denise says she feels comfortable here too, “There’s always someone here, I never feel alone”. And when their son Ken Jr. came to visit over Thanksgiving break, Denise said it changed him forever. She said he was so impressed by the warmth and blown away by the support that he will never be able to forget his experience here.
The Fegleys have bright plans for their future together. They are looking forward to finally getting the opportunity to travel. The couple had originally planned to see the world after they both retired but when Denise got sick, they thought it would never be possible. But now, after receiving the gift of life, the two plan to travel and enjoy some stress-free time together. Their dream trip would be to go to the South Pacific! Denise and Ken also look forward to becoming grandparents. They want to give back to the Howie’s House in whatever way they can, but especially through the Home Cook Heroes program. “The one thing we can do is cook.”
Nicki Loshnowsky never anticipated having to designate her five-year-old son, Collin, as an organ donor. And yet, in November 2004, the Loshnowsky family faced a heart-wrenching decision after Collin was struck by a car and suffered severe head trauma. With their world flipped upside down, the Loshnowsky’s found some light in a tragic situation by choosing donation, and subsequently saving five different lives by donating Collin’s intestine, two kidneys, liver and heart – true gifts of life. Through the Loshnowsky’s active involvement with Gift of Life Donor Program and Gift of Life Howie’s House, they have found means to heal, as well as to celebrate Collin’s wonderful life, all the while promoting the incredible impacts of organ donation.
Over the last 10 years, the Loshnowsky family has been involved in a number of Gift of Life initiatives in Collin’s memory. At the Transplant Games of America, an Olympic-style athletic competition for transplant recipients, organ donors and donor families, the Loshnowsky family has been an integral member of Team Philadelphia as honoring their son and connecting with other families who have found themselves on the same side of transplantation. At the Dash for Organ and Tissue Donation, the family bans together as team “Captivated by Collin’s Smile” to demonstrate, through strength in numbers, how organ donation saves lives. The Loshnowsky family will always remember Collin’s infectious smile and his wonderful “belly laugh.”
This past November was Collin’s 10th “Angelversary”, and the Loshnowsky family chose to honor his life by inspiring individuals to perform ten random acts of kindness. Doing their own part, the Loshnowsky family has made it their fervent goal to participate in the Howie’s House Home Cook Heroes program 10 times by the end of 2014, preparing meals for the Howie’s House transplant patients and their families. It is through this program that they are able to share experiences and stories with the guests – what Nicki always looks forward to most. The Loshnowsky’s Home Cook Hero meal on December 2nd will be an extra special dinner in honor of Collin’s 16th birthday.
The support provided by the Loshnowsky family never ceases to amaze us, as they have also hosted successful Wish List Drives in memory of Collin to further support the Howie’s House mission. While Collin cannot be here today, his name and memory will forever be honored through the family’s dedication to Gift of Life.
To learn more about how you can participate in Collin’s 10th “Angelversary”, please visit https://www.facebook.com/events/529946973806475/. And don’t forget to share Collin’s story this holiday season as you partake in your own random acts of kindness – just use the hashtag “#cjl10years” when posting on your social media pages.
“We fell in love with the Gift of Life Howie’s House early on,” says Jim Carns, lung transplant recipient. “As a patient, it helped me get a better understanding that I was not alone, that there are other people who are going through the same thing as I am.”
When Jim and Karen Carns first made the trip from their Harrisburg home to Philadelphia in preparation for the lung transplant Jim desperately needed, they had many worries on their mind. But there was one thing they did not have to worry about — where to stay. They arrived at Gift of Life Howie’s House to find a warm and welcoming “home away from home” where their every need was met. As Karen states, “From the time we first went there, we felt very welcomed by the staff. They knew it was stressful to us coming there, with what we were facing. And it was comforting for Jim to know that I was in a safe environment.”
The Carns were among the more than 450 families going through the organ transplant process who stayed with us last year. The number of families we serve continues to climb as more families are referred to us from transplant programs throughout Greater Philadelphia.
Jim describes the Gift of Life Howie’s House as a “God-send.” Jim and Karen now stay with us when they come to Philadelphia every few months for doctor visits. In gratitude for their experiences at the House, they have become members of our Family Circle with a generous contribution of their own in order to support our daily operations.
Jim and Karen, both retired, are now busy visiting with their four children and eight grandchildren across the country, and resuming their involvement in their church and local community. They recently enjoyed a cruise to Alaska that would not have been possible just a short time ago. Both are deeply committed to finding a cure for pulmonary fibrosis, the disease that led to Jim’s lung transplant, and to helping Gift of Life Howie’s House serve other transplant families in need. Explains Jim, “The House is a facility that we hope most people won’t need to seek out, but it’s important for people to know that it’s there if they need it.”
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