Howie's House Blog
Through my job as an in-house social worker, I offer support — including individual and group counseling — to help families through the transplant process.
But over the last six-plus years, I have also wiped tears, given hugs, brought in therapy dogs, celebrated birthdays and graduations, thrown bridal showers, and so much more.
“It’s a privilege to stand with families who have come from across the state, or across the country, on their transplant journey.” — Talia Giordano
“It’s a privilege to stand with these families who have come from across the state, or across the country, on their transplant journey. And it’s a privilege to stand with other people who care. Will you make a gift during the Matching Challenge so every dollar can double to provide a home to patients and families in their hardest times?” – Talia Giordano, MSW, LSW, Howie’s House Social Worker
To help families who rely on the Howie’s House during a most difficult and uncertain time in life, a generous friend has offered a $50,000 Matching Gift opportunity. Like you, this caring friend wants every transplant family to have access to an affordable place of rest, delicious home-cooked meals, and a warm and caring community of support. So every gift received prior to the December 31st deadline will be matched dollar for dollar, ensuring that more transplant families will experience a “home away from home” at the Howie’s House.
“I was nervous the first time I came through the doors of Gift of Life Howie’s House.
My mom had been so sick for so long … she was having dialysis three times a week. So I was really thanking God that she had the opportunity to receive a kidney transplant. I came to visit her for a week over the holidays, and I expected the Howie’s House to be a big, noisy, busy hospital. I was very surprised to find that it was a beautiful and quiet!
We had a really special Christmas together. We made a gingerbread house along with some of the other families who became friends to us, which was really nice because our other family was so far away.
The Howie’s House was a great blessing to us and to a lot of other families. Please make a gift now, while every dollar can go twice as far to help other patients and their families when they need it the most.” -Yani Barrow
To help families like Yani’s who rely on the Howie’s House during a most difficult and uncertain time in life, a generous friend has offered a $50,000 Matching Gift opportunity. Like you, this caring friend wants every transplant family to have access to an affordable place of rest, delicious home-cooked meals, and a warm and caring community of support. So every gift received prior to the December 31st deadline will be matched dollar for dollar, ensuring that more transplant families will experience a “home away from home” at the Howie’s House.
“Thank you so much for making my mother and me feel welcome at Gift of Life Howie’s House.
My life depends on a double lung transplant. We’re here at the Howie’s House waiting and hoping for “the call.””
I was just 33 when I got sick. In the years it took to get my diagnosis of Diffused Systemic Scleroderma with Interstitial Lung Disease, I had to quit my job and all my financial resources were depleted. The Howie’s House means my mother, who is my required caregiver, and I are not living in hotels and out of suitcases. It provides us with a home while away from home and a sense of stability during this very uncertain time.
It’s clean, quiet, comfortable, and beautiful. There are home-cooked meals every night, laundry facilities, a shuttle, and other families just like us who are waiting and hoping, too.
We are so grateful to people who support the Howie’s House “home” so we can focus on being ready when my call comes.
Will you help twice as many families like mine by making a gift during the Matching Challenge?” – Jennifer Herrmann
To help families like Jennifer’s who rely on the Howie’s House during a most difficult and uncertain time in life, a generous friend has offered a $50,000 Matching Gift opportunity. Like you, this caring friend wants every transplant family to have access to an affordable place of rest, delicious home-cooked meals, and a warm and caring community of support. So every gift received prior to the December 31st deadline will be matched dollar for dollar, ensuring that more transplant families will experience a “home away from home” at the Howie’s House.
When you make a bequest to the Howie’s House, you will help to ensure a “home away from home” for the transplant families who will need us for years to come. And you will have the satisfaction of knowing that your deeply held values will live on through the loving care we provide. You will also help to ensure that the Howie’s House is able to maintain their affordable fees and broad array of services for all who need support— now and in the future.
It is an easy and simple way that you can support the future of the Howie’s House and continue care for transplant patients and families. Bequests can be a percentage of the remainder of your estate or a specific dollar amount.
Sample language for making a bequest: “I give, devise, and bequeath to Gift of Life Howie’s House, a non-profit 501(c)(3) charitable organization located at 401 Callowhill Street, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania 19123, EIN 26-0585694, or its successor-in-interest, (insert dollar amount or percentage) for its unrestricted use and purposes.”
If you already have prepared a will, you can simply add a codicil amending it to include the Howie’s House.
Already included the Howie’s House in your will? Let us know so we can celebrate with you now!
Enjoy recognition today as a Legacy Society member.
Supporters who notify us that they have made arrangements for planned gifts will be recognized as members of our prestigious Legacy Society. And for members who have made bequests of $10,000 or more will have their name and giving level added to the special Legacy Society Wall in the Howie’s House living room.
Visit www.GiftofLifeFamilyHouse.org for more information.
To discuss making a planned gift to Gift of Life Howie’s House or if you have already named us in your will, please contact Sara Cohen, Development Manager at 267-546-9812 or email scohen@giftoflifefamilyhouse.org.
Please consult your attorney, tax advisor or financial advisor before making a bequest or updating your estate plan.
When you think about the winter season, you may think of the holidays or freshly fallen snow, which may bring you happiness and joy. You may also think of the treacherous weather, cold air, and shorter days, which can cause you to dread the winter season. It is not uncommon to feel sad, irritable, sluggish, or even have difficulty getting up in the morning. These feelings during the winter months are common and are often referred to as the “winter blues.” When you are feeling down, it can be easy to convince yourself that you cannot do things you enjoy – here are some tips that may help you beat the winter blues.
1. Maintain a Healthy Routine:
The winter is full of excuses for not staying active or maintaining a healthy lifestyle. It is important to keep doing everyday tasks that you normally do at other times of the year, including exercising and eating healthy. This consistency may help you focus on the task at hand, rather than the blues. You can stay active by stretching, doing yoga, dancing to your favorite song, or participating in your favorite winter sport. The smallest activity can help you get through even the toughest day.
2. Soak up the Sun:
The shorter days in the winter play a big role in feeling the winter blues. Many people get out of bed when it is still dark outside, go to work, and then come back home when it is dark again. The lack of sunlight can throw off your rhythm – both emotionally and physically. Try to go outside for at least a few minutes during the day, especially when the weather is mild. If you cannot get outside, try opening blinds, sitting by a window, or turning on overhead lights. This extra light may help you regain this rhythm.
3. Talk (or Think) It Through:
If the winter months make you feel blue, remember that you are not alone. Talk to your family and friends. Most likely, they have felt or are feeling the winter blues too. Share tips with each other that have helped. Another way to fight the winter blues is by writing down or thinking about at least three things you are thankful for each day. By focusing on the positive, you can help change your mood and outlook on the season.
4. Do Something You Enjoy:
It may be hard to become motivated when you are feeling blue. This can be especially hard in the winter when it is cold and dark outside. It is essential to still do things you enjoy! Challenge yourself to take up a new activity, socialize with friends and family, or make a list of winter activities you like to participate in, such as ice skating, playing in the snow, or simply reading a book while drinking hot chocolate. Try to do something fun every week, or even every day. It is important to look forward to something you like to do, instead of feeling like you are trapped inside.
If you are finding that the winter blues make it hard for you to function and those feelings continue for several days or weeks, consider reaching out to a counselor or therapist who may be able to help. For more information or support, you can also email one of the Caregiver Lifeline Program social workers.
Since we opened our doors more than six years ago, the Howie’s House has welcomed thousands of transplant patients and their caregivers to a real “home away from home.”
Among them is Alicia Hoover-Murphy, who found help and hope here first as a caregiver…and later as a transplant patient.
Alicia and her father had both been diagnosed with Idiopathic Pulmonary Fibrosis—a terminal lung disease for which a lung transplant is currently the only treatment option.
Two days before his 46th birthday, the call came … Alicia’s father would receive a new set of lungs. Like many transplant families, they were far from home as they waited and hoped—for months.
Your support of Gift of Life Howie’s House made sure they had a little less to worry about during those endless, scary months. At the end of every long, hard day spent at the hospital cheering him on, the family returned to a “home away from home” that included home-cooked meals; clean, comfortable rooms; heartfelt support from staff; and camaraderie with other transplant families.
Although her father’s transplant was a success, complications mounted in the months following the procedure, which ultimately claimed his life.
Over the next few years, Alicia grew sicker herself. It was a bittersweet day when she and her loved ones returned to Gift of Life Howie’s House so she, too, could undergo the many tests and consultations that would lead her to being listed for a transplant.
“When we were there for my father, we’d made friends with the staff and other families at the Howie’s House. They were all like a second family to us,” Alicia says. “It was so nice to be surrounded by people who understood what we were going through and to be able to educate one another about what to expect.”
When her call finally came, Alicia was more than ready for the lung transplant that would restore her to health, to her family, to life.
Alicia’s transplant was a success. She and her family are deeply thankful for the organ donor who gave her a second chance in life and for contributors like you who make the Howie’s House a warm, wonderful, and affordable place to stay during a most difficult time.
“Thank you to all of you for this amazing home. You make it possible for the Howie’s House to offer an environment that is safe to people going through extremely rough times in their lives,” Alicia says. “The Family House provided a place of shelter for my family and provided me with a whole other family that I love and care about as if they were my own relatives.”
by Jacquelyn Kates, LSW, CT
Family Support Counselor, Gift of Life Donor Program
Gift of Life Donor Program encourages transplant recipients to write to their donor families. Our Family Support Services Counselors review all correspondence and facilitate the exchange of letters between recipients and donor families.
FAQs for Communicating with Your Donor Family
The hospital did not give me much information about my donor. How can I find out more information about my donor and donor family?
For confidentiality purposes, recipients are not given personal information about their donor or donor family. However, recipients are encouraged to write to their donor family should they wish to learn more.
I do not want to upset my donor family by writing them a letter. When is a good time to write and send the letter?
The best time to write and send a letter is when the recipient is ready. Acknowledging the gift of transplant and thanking the donor family can be an important step in the recipient’s own healing process. If the donor family is not ready to receive a letter, they have the choice to keep it unopened.
Who in my family can write?
Anyone is invited to write to the donor family.
What should I write in my donor letter?
There is no perfect letter. We recommend saying thank you to the donor family for their compassionate decision or honoring their loved one’s wishes. A recipient could share how their life has changed since transplant and what they hope to accomplish with a second lease on life.
Is there anything I should not write?
Identifying information such as last names, addresses, phone numbers, email, and social media accounts may not be shared. If this information is included, it will be removed prior to forwarding to the family. However, make sure recipient includes full name, address, date of transplant, transplant center, and organ received on a separate piece of paper. This information is needed to identify the donor family and forward the letter.
Where should I send my letter?
Gift of Life Donor Program
Attn: Family Support Services
401 N. 3rd Street, Philadelphia, PA 19123
Is it normal to feel guilty after receiving a transplant?
It is very common for recipients to feel guilty after transplant, which is sometimes known as survivor guilt. Speaking to other recipients in a transplant center support group setting or talking with a donor family can be helpful in relieving these uncomfortable feelings. Gift of Life Donor Program and Howie’s House have many donor family volunteers that are open to talk with recipients about their experience.
Can the donor family write to me/my family?
The donor family is able to write to recipients following the same guidelines and process.
When will I hear from my donor family?
Unfortunately, a recipient may not hear from their donor family. Grief is a unique experience and some families may not be ready to write or may not want to.
How can I meet my donor family?
Donor family and recipient meetings are shown in the media, but many recipients do not have the opportunity to meet their donor family. Before a meeting can take place, it is important that there be an understanding of what might occur at a meeting. That’s why Gift of Life Donor Program requires that the donor family and recipient write several letters to build a relationship through correspondence before meeting. Both must express an interest in sharing contact information and meeting. At that point, Family Support Services will send Consent and Release forms.
Once the signed forms are received, personal information will be shared to facilitate direct communication.
Have you ever wondered how the people and charities you care about will fair when you are no longer here to help them?
A good way to make certain that your values live on is by writing down what’s important to you. Another is by making provisions in your estate plan to ensure your charitable support continues.
By including the Howie’s House in your will/bequest, you can help to ensure that the Howie’s House is able to maintain their affordable fees and broad array of services for all who need support— now and in the future. It is an easy and simple way that you can support the future of the Howie’s House, and continue care for transplant patients and families. Bequests can be a percentage of the
remainder of your estate or a specific dollar amount. If you already have prepared a will, you can simply add a codicil amending it to include the Howie’s House.
IS YOUR WILL DUE FOR AN UPDATE?
Here area few reasons that individuals or couples may need to update their will:
• A change in marital status
• The birth or adoption of a child or grandchild
• The death of an individual included in your will
• Retirement or relocation to another state
• A change in assets
• The start of a new business
• New tax laws
ALREADY INCLUDED THE FAMILY HOUSE IN YOUR WILL?
Let us know so we can celebrate with you now! Enjoy recognition today as a Legacy Society member. Donors who notify us that they have made arrangements for planned gifts will be recognized as members of our prestigious Legacy Society. Visit www.GiftofLifeFamilyHouse.org for more information.
TO DISCUSS MAKING A PLANNED GIFT TO GIFT OF LIFE FAMILY HOUSE OR IF YOU HAVE ALREADY NAMED US IN YOUR WILL, please contact Sara Cohen, Development Manager at 267-546-9812 or email scohen@giftoflifefamilyhouse.org. Please consult your attorney, tax advisor or financial advisor before making a bequest or updating your estate plan.
Caregiver Lifeline
Spotlight
by Laura Giannotti, MSW
Gift of Life Howie’s House Social Worker
Finding Support through your Hospital Chaplain
The transplant journey can bring up many different emotions, questions, and even doubts about your spiritual or religious belief system. For some, faith and spirituality may grow during this time, while for others it raises questions and doubts. Hospital/medical chaplains can offer support and comfort for you and your family regardless of faith, spirituality, practices, or belief system. Chaplains are professionally trained individuals who reach across all faith lines to support patients and their families during a difficult medical time.
How can the Chaplain help you during the transplant process?
Be an additional support person by providing a listening ear Chaplains can offer a warm, compassionate, and judgment-free presence. There may be times when at the hospital you feel lonely, anxious, angry, or confused. Talking with the chaplain about your experiences and feelings may help you feel better. Chaplains recognize that patients and families come from different cultural and religious backgrounds and their goal is to offer you guidance and support in line with your beliefs and comfort level, not force their own beliefs on you. Along with offering support, a chaplain can lend an ear to simply hear your fears and celebrate your joys. Whether you are deeply spiritual, do not believe in a specific religion, or fall somewhere in between, you may want someone to talk to and hear your thoughts. Chaplains can be a sounding board for you, and even offer support around decision making and finding meaning in your own or a loved one’s illness.
Support your beliefs and practices and provide guidance Faith can impact one’s emotional and physical well-being and chaplains can help you strengthen your spiritual health, if desired. This can be in the form of discussing faith-based questions you may have or discussing uncertainties about what you are going through. It can be a conversation around deepening your beliefs. A chaplain may be able to help you with your spiritual needs, such as lending you a Bible, prayer rug, Sabbath candles, etc. Although the resources available will vary among different hospitals, chaplains want to support you and address your spiritual needs in any way that they can. Additionally there may be a time when you want to participate in a religious ritual or receive a sacrament– the chaplain can help you by leading, scheduling, and sometimes even designing these rituals and sacraments. They can also pray with you and for you at any time – while you are at the hospital with the patient for a transplant evaluation, post-transplant appointment, during a hospitalization, while you or the patient is waiting to go into transplant surgery, or while you are visiting the patient in recovery.
Help you connect or reconnect Is there someone you would like to connect or reconnect with? Chaplains can act as mediators or reconcilers when needed. They can also help you connect to a faith community or with a particular belief system. If you would like someone from your faith community to visit, a chaplain may be able to coordinate this visit as well. Hospital chaplains are typically available between Monday and Friday, but at many hospitals, services are available 24 hours a day. Contact your hospital chaplaincy office or speak to your transplant social worker or nurse for specific information regarding their services and your needs. Additionally, please feel free to contact the Caregiver Lifeline Program Social Worker at CaregiverLifeline@GiftofLifeFamilyHouse.org.
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